Naomba niwasalamie! Shikamoo from the land of Kikwete!

Eeeh yes, I moved again but this time its for pleasure! Just visiting.

Anyway yesterday I was at the airport early, by almost 4 hours on account of the fact that my relatives are tired of waving bye to me and have decided that from now on I will travel to the airport by taxi (I didnt think they hated my gifts that much either! Sigh) Anyway, I was sitting at the depature pub and this chick walks in,  dressed decently tu and walks straight to a table which had an odiero dude. Automatically my mind goes stereotypical but she proved me wrong by buying her own beer. For some time I thought I was just being mean. Lakine kedo 15 mins the guy left, so what does the girl do?

She stands and walks straight to another table with an odiero and did the exact same thing! Sat with him and started chatting, I gues she realised from the first guy that she will not get anywhere by just sitting there sipping her tusker…. So they chat for a while, the guy buys her a beer and unfortunatley I think he had to go catch his flight! And what do you know. she does what? YOU GUESSED RIGHT…walks straight to the next table which had an odiero.. She wasnt even pretending ati there were no other seats!

Unfortunately I had to go catch my flight so I dont know if any odiero missed his flight and chose to go with her instead! Is this what is called networking? Couz if it was sales, she should have just gone to arrivals, there is bound to be a stranded and /or adventure seeking ones.

Poor JKIA! Lucky white travelling people..they have future contacts. Poor K street watchies..they have lost business. By the way are there P.I.M.P.S in K street?

Off to watch Russia Vs Spain. Jana I was supporting Turkey and they lost! Dare Russia loose today!

Enjoy and have a non furious weekend!

Kenyans are a bunch of furious people: Sample this two headlines in todays nation and standard:

Nation: FURY over IPO refunds

Standard: FURY against MPs

Are we really  furious? Or do we just have the same paper editors?

Whatever the case am so happy to be back home.. I have maximum respect for people who leave home for years! I was away for less than a year and I absolutely hated it. I was lonely half the time and bored the other half.  Took me for ever to get used to pubs closing at 12.00 midnite. So on my first weekend back I went out till 6 am just to make up.

One thing I miss though is automatic doors! (I know am fickle) but those things are the best invention. You dont have to touch any door knobs! We need a ministry for this! Minister of automatic doors! I vote Akaranga for this.

Ok am out

Oh yeah before I go, why do we have Eastlands, Westlands, Southland but no Northlands? Why dont we have northlands?

Now am out!

Ok she is on the move again!

Am moving or should I say I have moved to a place that has the following characteristics

- warm people

- Very good world famous beer, athletes and animals

- had some trouble recently

- Good weather (trust me this is a bonus after dublin)

- Has developed its own unique language using a combination of many different languages

Ok thats enough clues…… Anyone who get it will have loads of guiness, because I hear from very reliable sources that it does wonders for the sex drive

AOB: Can anyone advice me on the best internet source in Kenya- The person needs to be online almost 24/7

Another year gone by…. Time flies.

I need to go home, am sad, lonely and depressed and I need to be with my family!

Sigh.

They say (I dont know who they are so don’t ask me) acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step to recovery. I am deciding to cleanse myself today so Iam doing a solo tag….. but If you feel you want to cleanse yourself do feel free. But this is my bad list…

Cruelest thing I have ever done(so far)

This guy I had been going out with for like 3 months used to bore me to D.E.A.T.H. his jokes were the most boring, bigoted, sexist jokes ever and he could laugh about them for hours! the strokes were not that funny either, and basically there was zilch chemistry. Finally decided I couldn’t stand it and him a minute longer. So one night he calls me up and asks me if he can come to my place but I didn’t have the heart to tell him I didn’t want to see him so I said yes, but could he call before he left the bar. Then I switched off my phone. The next day I told him my husband was coming back from the US (its the only country I could think of).

One thing I have ever done that I regret

Not standing up for my friend when people around me were gossiping about him. I later felt like the biggest coward/fraud in the world. I never did tell him what guys were saying for fear of hurting him (not because of what people said but because I did not stand up for him)

One thing I have ever done that was wrong but didn’t regret

D1 (enough said)

Best revenge I ever had

My best revenge moment actually happened a few days ago, we had gone to town for some shopping and we happened to go into one of those big chain stores (I wont mention names in case they come looking for me) anyway as we were browsing one of the employees looked at us and crossed herself.. seriously crossed herself as in “in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit” WTF….. So I took a piece of trash that I had been trying to dispose of and put it in one of the trouser pockets of their display clothes! And I swear to God I didn’t feel bad about doing it…

Worst fantasy

I fantasize alot about really really bad things happening to people who have been unfair or mean to me. I imagine them suffering sometimes long painful episodes of disease, or loosing a job or equally bad stuff. If it is an ex I can get really creative like him being dumped publicly by his current chick, him getting erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation,  I know.. am a bad person

Worst lie I ever told

My dad was a strict disciplinarian, and he had the misfortune of siring the most undisciplined child (thats me in case you were wondering) who thought life was made up of partying and my dad was being unfair by stopping me from going out. One time after clearing fourth, my friend and I really really really wanted to go for this party out of town which everyone was going to. So we told my dad that one of our classmates had lost her grandmother and we wanted to go to their shags for the funeral…..I know, straight to hell I will be going.

One person I could kill if I could get away with it

This guy...

Moment I wish I could reverse

One month ago when I lit a cigarette again… sigh, I know, I know, I know and I can see you all shaking your heads, pointing fingers at me and cursing me in your mother/father tongues

One B.A.D. thing I would really really like to do before I die….

manage-a-trois

Good now am cleansed..

Have a great week Y’all